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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Performance Evaluations

Here's another email, for fun:

These are ACTUAL supervisor quotes taken from employee performance evaluations

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this employee to breed.

3. This employee is really not much of a has-been, but more of a definite wont be.

4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

5. When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet.

6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

8. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

9. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

10. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.

11. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

12. A gross ignoramus — 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

13. He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.

14. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.

15. He's been working with glue too much.

16. He would argue with a signpost.

17. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.

18. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.

19. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.

20. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

21. A prime candidate for natural DE-selection.

22. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isnt coming.


Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness. This is funny. I read some to my hubby and we were laughing. Nice way to start out the day.

Sarah Salter said...

#4 is totally my favorite! :-) LOL!

HollyMag said...

These are TOO funny! I'm not sure I can pick a favorite. But #4 is EXCELLENT! I like #9 too... Thanks for sharing!