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Saturday, February 7, 2009

Why, Oh Why?

This is from Travis, who has an intriguing story posted right now. Have a great weekend!

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

W hy does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.


Travis said...

Thanks for the plug, Amy. The story I wrote that you mentioned is a hard one. I struggle with the ethics involved, and I wrote it in a way where no one has a clear path to glory, much like our own lives. Seldom are we granted a clean, storybook ending to our own lives.

Thanks again. And enjoy a quiet weekend of writing!

Anne L.B. said...

Amy, I don't need to count to know I'm the mental.

Travis, for me stories with satisfying endings give a glow that usually soon fades. The stories with endings that haunt me may stay with me forever. The novel I finished last night (Ceremony of the Innocent, Taylor Caldwell) had tragedy of such depth I feel my life just slammed into a brick wall. I cannot walk away unchanged.

Jason W. said...

Loved the list!!! I laughed out loud . . . Thanks for adding a little humor to my day!